Relationship Goals.

In our culture, the word “relationship” more often than not connotes romance.

It’s easy to fantasize about love, dating, and marriage when this idea is brought up.
And I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a hopeless romantic. To. The. Core.
It’s actually very humorous.

But I’ve been challenged to look at this word differently—and I hope you will, too, especially in a world that emphasizes that happiness and wholeness are found in romantic relationships.

There’s nothing wrong with having a healthy love for love! But I think we should be paying attention to the ways all types of relationships can grow our character—and maybe even prepare us for a romantic relationship.

WHAT EVEN IS A RELATIONSHIP?

Part of the definition of a relationship is “the way in which two or more people are connected.” Let that sink in: “How two or more people are connected.”

We develop connections with people every day. As an extrovert, that idea excites me to no end. But even for all you introverts who are fueled by being alone at times, we are all interacting with people on a daily basis. Whether it’s friends, family, co-workers, children we babysit, the family at the grocery store, or the mailman.

Connection forms through conversation.

We have to get to know people in order to build a relationship.

Maybe you’re thinking, well duh. I have a lot of people I know and talk to—even people I consider friends. That’s great! But, I think in today’s society, it’s easy to have a lot of acquaintances. Lots of online friends and mutual friends. But how many of those people do we truly hang out with? How many of their passions and hardships do you know? How many of them hold you accountable?

This is why our society feels isolated and lonely. The understanding and value of authentic relationships is missing.

HOW DO WE GROW HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS?

Now that there’s a better understanding of what a relationship is, we need to consider another question. If relationships are so important for connection and community, and they can start through the conversations we have with people, how do we strengthen our relationships to be life-giving and supportive?

There are four stepping stones that can foster strong relationships. 

1. Intentionality is key! (1 Corinthians 13:1)
   Set aside time to spend with that person. Whether it’s a friend, family member, co-worker, child, or significant other, time is essential in showing you care about the other person.

2. Get to know their love language to learn how you can best serve and care for them (Matthew 20:26 – 28)
   Understanding what makes them feel valued is important in demonstrating your love for them as a person.

3. Be vulnerable (Galatians 6:2)
   Now, I’m not advocating for telling your life story to every person you meet. I’d encourage you to use wisdom and discretion when sharing with people. At the same time, in order to build trust and a strong relationship, vulnerability is key.

Those who truly want to invest in your life will encourage you and challenge you, not tear you down or judge you. 

4. Take initiative.
I know, it’s intimidating sometimes to talk to someone you don’t know.
But that’s the starting point for any relationship. You have to get past
the awkward to get comfortable enough to be your awkward self
around them, ha! You never know who may need a friend, or some
encouragement.

God did not create us to do life alone. We are meant for community.

Proverbs 18:24 tells us, “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

Be that friend who will stick by someone through the highs and lows, and you may be surprised at who stands by you, too.  

~Laura

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